Years ago, one of the first things I would do in the morning when I was home besides the obvious of brewing coffee was to start Pandora and rock out to music. Even back when I started this blog I mentioned how my happy place is dancing in my kitchen while baking. Sometime in the past few years the habit of starting music in the morning disappeared. Sure, there are days I do but with both of us home all the time and with Scott working at home maybe I subconsciously became over-accommodating about the noise. Even though not once did he ask me to turn down music.

The healthier version of me I’m trying to be means taking back the pieces that make me happy… that make me, me. I am actively trying to retrain my brain to start music again. Yesterday I woke up with Dave Matthews Where are you Going in my head so as I started Spotify before I even started the coffee.

I started laundry and then Coffee Bean and I danced and played… even though she totally wasn’t feeling it (she didn’t sleep much the night before) but I was also keeping her occupied while Scott was spraying the downstairs for spiders.

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The jam/dance sessions were amazing yesterday morning as I followed up with doctors and cleaned and I even got my pilates video in! The basics kick my ass and it’s hard not to be discouraged but I keep reminding myself that even if I can’t hold the pose or lift my leg as high it is still better than doing nothing. A healthier version of me is not just working on my body but my mind as well. It will always be easier to focus on the things that I can’t do and then that becomes my path with negativity guiding my way. It is harder to put in the work and I am so proud of myself for realizing that I need to be the change for myself and walk the path that brings me to a better healthier body, mind and soul and and… to move to my own beat. I totally can and will do this.

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After pilates I grabbed a fresh cup of coffee and sat at the table with my computer thinking I’d sit and write my blog in between moving and folding laundry. I boosted the music on the speakers and then… everything went quiet. Our power went out as did some of our neighborhood. Oy. That’s ok, I needed a shower anyway and candlelit showers are peaceful.

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After Scott’s run and his candlelit shower we decided to go to lunch and set plans for grabbing computers and working from a brewery if the power wasn’t back on when we got home. It was! So back to tasking I went. I got most of our laundry done and finished cleaning upstairs before then focusing on dinner for the Av’s game. But, sadly I didn’t have a chance to sit back at the computer and write.

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We did have a tasty dinner and cheered and held our breathe as we held out hope that the Av’s could fight their way to a game 7…. and they did! Game 7 will be Saturday, thankfully after the walk!

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Last night on my way to bed I was sore and realized I had totally overdone it… my feet were burning, my fingers were tingling and my legs didn’t want to work correctly so I mentally started to prepare myself for a complete rest day today which was totally not on my agenda. Sleep was harder as I woke several times as my body ached and my nerve-endings were going crazy.

Thankfully I woke (much earlier than I wanted) wanting to do pilates. I let the doggo outside, started coffee and then went downstairs and laid out the yoga mat. I stretched… oh did I stretch! My body was still sore so there were points in those 18 minutes that I was ready to give up and I almost did. My inner monologue was a major cheering section.

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After pilates I started music. Today’s music of choice… Billy Strings.

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I have been writing on and off all morning as my brain gets scattered wanting to jump ahead and work on getting ready for tomorrows walk and finish the laundry that didn’t get done yesterday. The “oh look a squirrel” has been quite active today. I have played with the doggo, contemplated going and getting orange fabric paint, tried on socks for tomorrow, put in the orange hair extensions from last year to see if I remembered how to do it, played with glitter. Yep, scattered. Tonight I’m going to the year-end school choir performance for my niece so I’m trying to get everything done before heading to her concert.

Thank you reading my ramblings today. I started yesterday with a point to this post and then, as it is more often than not, it becomes more of a journal/diary of sorts. I guess that really is me… moving to my own beat.

Peace and love my friends and as always, happy cups.

Oh my goodness, friends! I woke up at 6:30 (that in itself isn’t unusual) and I was motivated! Today, I actually needed to work (that is unusual). I was subbing for Sunshine at her BNI networking group that meets in the tech center. As you may or may not know, I work very part-time for an amazing photographer, Sunshine, and her photography business, Silver Sparrow Photography ,as an at home office assistant. Today was a rare instance that I not only was working but I was doing so outside the house.

And because I didn’t want to lose momentum in controlling my narrative, I was up and motivated… motivated to be on my yoga mat… and I was on the mat by 7:10! I did the pilates video again (I like this video and probably will stick with this one a bit until I feel like I can do all poses correctly), and even though my body was tired and sore I was so proud of myself for sticking with it today.

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I was out of the shower, dressed and styling my hair before 8:30. I danced around to my favorite “give me confidence” music… Illenium… while getting ready and even remembered to take time for my coffee and pills. 

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I’ve been struggling a lot with my self-image and confidence with my weight gain, and today, well, today, I feel like I slayed it! Which, in turn, helped me feel confident in speaking in front of the networking group.

This BNI group was amazing! They were so welcoming and supportive of each other’s businesses. I can see why Sunshine likes this group. But what put them on top for me was I got snuggles from a doggo. And of course, in true Corrine fashion, I introduced myself to the doggo first (Archie) and then found out the owners name and business after (Jessica-massage therapy).

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I was also mesmerized by these light fixtures within the conference room.

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On my way home from the meeting, I stopped by the store and picked up a refill of my ever growing stack of medications and a couple other things and several bunches of flowers. I found orange roses as my base and was able to find a wide variety of flowers to make a stunning bouquet 💐 of oranges, pinks and purples. Which is great for this week as Orange is the color for the MS support ribbons and the MS Walk is Saturday.

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While I made the bouquet, Scott prepped and cut veggies for us to have a quick salad lunch before hopping on our couples therapy session. We have been seeing our therapist since last year as the weight of my diagnosis and other life challenges seemed to have built up. I love normalizing therapy. Just because you are in therapy doesn’t mean things are horrible it just means that you are recognizing there’s a shift and you’d rather address them and work through them rather than ignore them letting it grow and fester. Scott and I wanted to address our communication style and quality time, especially as my diagnosis now puts Scott in a caregiver role once in a while. Our session today was the first in over a month and a half as we’ve had to reschedule a few times.

We’ve been on the cusp of not needing our therapist anymore and today before our session, we realized that even with the craziness of these past few weeks we haven’t felt a disconnect from each other, so today we made the decision that today’s session would be our last. Our therapist, Samantha, is amazing and is so excited for us. She’s been our champion and has told us from the beginning how wonderful it is to see a couple so in love with each other and that it was the highlight of her week to see us.

I love that we continue to work on us… both as individuals and as a couple. Yay us!

We went and visited Scott’s mom this afternoon. I still feel so fortunate that our lives now let us support our parents. All our years of shift work and not being available and now we have the flexibility to help and visit. Scott said recently that what he loves most about this time is to be able to hear the stories… I think we forget how much importance stories have.

Then, this evening, we were able to curl on the couch and enjoy each other while watching the Great British Bakeoff. It’s been a few days since we’ve had downtime so it was nice to relax. Plus, thinking of stories… we got to have several laugh until almost pee moments with Ashlynn and our “other daughter” Faith as they were showing us photos and filling us in on the past few days.

I’m sleepy as I meant to write this earlier today, and now here it is past midnight. Tomorrow brings laundry day for me, and I’m making a taco ring for dinner so we can watch game 6 of the Avs/Stars playoff hockey. I hope that the morning brings more opportunities to build my confidence, for now… it’s bedtime. I’m excited to listen to the rain as I fall asleep.

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As always, peace and love my friends and enjoy your cups ☕️

(I had to go back in and revise a bit…I fell asleep while writing this last night and didn’t read through before posting).

Today, I have felt unfocused and frustrated. Frustrated that my mind feels foggy and so does my brain. Part of my MS journey is realizing that after a fun night of music, hockey and drinking. I need to then give myself the downtime… or the Grace. It’s hard when I still have things I need to do.

I did accomplish things today. Contacting doctors, organizing my MS Walk outfit and Ashlynn’s and Scott’s. Plus, then organizing and sending out info to my team. For a non-MS brain, that probably is an hour, maybe 2 of tasking. Me… all day! Like 6 hours. Oy.

I did, however, just finish my pilates. I did the same video as yesterday. I’m proud of myself. In all the mismatching my brain is today, I still took the time to stretch and use my body. There are muscles there that are sore and tender from non-use… it’s a good feeling, waking them up.

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Tonight, we have trivia with good friends. I’m excited, even if my brain and body are rebelling.

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My eyes are definitely telling the story of being tired and maybe pushing past my limits. Finding balance is hard, ya’all. Especially when the simple things take hours for my brain to handle.

So, for now, I’ll focus on things I can and find the joy and beauty around me. Peace and love my friends 🧡 and enjoy your ☕️cups.

It has been over a year since I’ve pulled out my yoga mat. Today, I changed that.

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As I’ve mentioned, my fatigue has crippled any energy for most of the past year. Which of course has meant no energy for anything, let alone yoga or any exercising.

On top of the fatigue, I had gained 20 pounds quite rapidly from mid-January this year to mid-February. I had no changes in anything; diet, exercise, and medications had not changed. I am now at the heaviest weight I have ever been. Now here it is almost May, the fatigue is waining, which means I’m doing more things but the weight continues to climb.

After several doctors’ visits and nothing seemingly wrong. Between endocrinologist, primary care, hormone specialists, gastrointestinal and neurologists, there is nothing that would cause the sudden weight gain, I am realizing how important it is for me to move my body. Even if it’s just stretching. Today, I did an 18 mintue beginning pilates🧘‍♀️ video for the lower body. Even beginner videos I still find myself needing to modify poses as my body is so weak. But, I still did it!

Coming up this week, I’m doing the Denver MS Walk 🧡. 

So, I’m hoping that I’ll keep up stretching and moving my body so I can yet again feel semi comfortable in my own skin.

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Here’s to a healthy version of Rini… enjoy your cups today. 💧☕️

A teaser

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I want to give today the full run down, but it’s been a long day, and it’s almost midnight.  So, instead, a teaser of things I’ll write about tomorrow.

And with that… I hope your day was filled with many happy cups. ☕️

A day of errands… partly because I wanted to shop and partly because we forgot some items when we went grocery shopping on Saturday.

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I did some craft supply shopping for our Rex Manning Day party and then some spring decor shopping before heading to the grocery store.

I spent way too much time picking out my bunches of flowers, but I love the final outcome. Making flower arrangements is one of my favorite things.

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I totally forgot to pick up prescriptions while I was at the store, so I ended up going back a few hours later. Between Ashlynn and I, we have forgotten to pick up prescriptions a good dozen times in the past week. It was even on my grocery list today, and I still forgot. Oy. Store count today: 4 – 1 craft store, 1 decor store and 2 trips to the grocery store.

I’m proud of myself. I also managed to arrange flowers, take down St. Patrick’s Day decor and pack away, start putting up spring decor, play with the pup, take a shower, Iron (I have had a huge pile of things needing to be ironed… 8 placemats, 16 napkins, 2 table runners, 1 table cloth, and 2 pairs of pants). Also, I gave hugs to a friend and played Hogwarts Legacy with Scott. It was a very full day, besides aching in my legs and feet. I’m doing okay… tired but okay.

On deck for tomorrow is finish spring decorating and maybe do some cleaning. Otherwise, rest. Thinking of which I should try and sleep.

Happy coffee cups, my friends ☕️

Focusing on writing is tougher than I thought it would be, even focusing on taking a photo a day seems to be trickier than I had expected. Oy, I truly miss the old Corrine… can I get a refund on this MS thing? Really though, I feel quite lucky that my symptoms are not horrid… as I know many are struggling much more than me. I continue to feel like my biggest obstacle is the fatigue and the brain fog and focus.

I may not be doing a post or picture a day like I originally planned but I’m also not giving up. Because I totally got this and as my sister says… I can do big things… or small things. So here’s the last few days.

March 28

Reminder to give myself kudos, even on the rougher days. Friday was tough. My whole body was exhausted and in pain. A combination of feeling like I was going non-stop and from my menstrual cycle making me want to die. Besides those feelings I still accomplished most of our laundry from the past week and a shower. A had a mini mental breakdown realizing there was not a possibility that my body would allow me to go to the Denverse spring issue release with Scott. I also knew that if I went to the magazine release that I then wouldn’t make it to book club the next day… and that was more important to me. The constant struggle of doing fun things or listening to my body and resting. I instead spent most my day and night curled in various positions on the couch zoning out to tv shows. Currently I am rewatching JAG.

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March 29

I had issues sleeping the night before. I may not have gone to the event with Scott but I was still very much awake when he got home after midnight. The lack of sleep seems to be a pattern again and the average sleeping time is less than 5 hours. But, I woke with wanting to get some things done.

One of the main things… a menu and grocery list. You can see the start of a menu and the start of our grocery list below including the crossed out start of a menu from the week before. We haven’t had a menu or even have bought groceries since before Scott’s birthday. Our fridge has been oddly bare and we’ve been relying on frozen food or eating out for all our meals.. which is totally not our norm. We love cooking and having mostly balanced meals. So, Saturday morning Scott and I spent a bit hashing out our menu and grocery list. Ashlynn had requested a big batch of gravy so she had some breakfasts for the week and since breakfast for dinner is tasty we decided to start our week with that. This week we’re still digging in more to comfort food… as our brains are elsewhere but I’m hopeful with salads back in the rotation for lunches we’ll get back to our more healthy food options.

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It was so nice to be back at book club… not that I read anything as sometimes is the case for a lot of us… but it was good to see everyone. And the coffee/plant store we were at was super cute! From an inside greenhouse and plants everywhere to swings to sit and sip your coffee to a fascinating rotating letter marquee. I was able to catch up with Jessica and give the hugs. Plus then have many laughs about Petey (the venus flytrap that Sara and Sam bought while there).

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This kitty fishing was so darn cute! I didn’t get a full photo but at the end of the fishing line was an origami fish folded out of money that was being pulled out of their tip jar. Also, barista art is one of my favorite things. And this cute heart cactus spinning… ahhh… so cute!

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After book club we headed more North to my mother-in-laws. I keep catching myself asking how she is doing. I am not sure there is an answer to that question and never experiencing that kind of loss I realize that the things I can do is be there and listen to the stories she has of Roy and show her love. We did a few things around her house she needed help with and then went and got us all food… there’s a Tamale Kitchen just a few blocks away. We have been making sure her supply of Mexican food has been abundant the past few days… Ashlynn had brought her Santiago’s on Friday and Sam had brought up green chile and burrito makings earlier in the week.

Then Scott and I headed back down South and to the grocery store. It’s nice to have a stocked fridge and fresh veggies and fruit again. My spoon/fatigue level had been almost gone but I am so glad we went to the store! That way we both could rest the next day. After getting groceries put away I curled into a blanket nest (thanks Bee for this amazing term) on the couch with candles lit and doors/windows open so I could hear the steady sounds of rain and the delicious smell of the rain and occasional snow flakes and that nice chill in the air felt wonderful as I watched my movie.

March 30

My planned day of not doing much. Although I felt pressure to pick up slightly, vacuum and take a shower before Bee came over at 11. I’m slowly getting better about the appearance of the house and it not needing to be perfect when we have someone over but the toilets clean, floors clean thing doesn’t go away easy. Plus, it gave me the push I needed to shower… if I don’t shower in the morning when my energy is not yet severely depleted I find that it’s then too hard take one later in the day.

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So, I may have started my morning at the table but that didn’t last long. After my shower I retreated to the couch with candles going and window open… embracing the cold, wet vibes from the outside as I planned Rex Manning Day and shopped online while starting to write this blog post. The brain as it is most days seemed scattered but I still was able to get most of the party planned then rested until making our biscuits and gravy for dinner.

March 31

Sleep was semi-elusive again and my body definitely wanted more sleep as I had prolonged getting out of bed and telling my body just a few more minutes but the urge to go potty had then turned to necessity. I sat at the table finishing the plans and buying the chosen things for Rex Manning Day and then making a Facebook event. And because today was also a day of not much planned I finally got around to reposting the MS Walk information on Facebook. The level of fatigue it takes to do posts or interact with anything or anyone online is overwhelming. I think that’s why I’ve not shared or posted more about the walk in the past few weeks to friends and family because the task just seemed so hard. A lot of things feel that way. I joke about finding it hard to brush teeth somedays… but that is true. It is… even the thought of doing something makes me want to just lay down and sleep/not sleep instead. Oy.

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Anyway, so here I am… I have been on the computer most the day… first at the table and then in various positions on the couch writing this post that also felt oh so daunting. But I am loving being back to doing my ramblings. It’s still mostly journalesque in writing but that doesn’t matter, what matters is I’m still doing it. I do however need to wrap this up… after saying showers later in the day are hard… I need to take a shower… since we have dinner plans with friends across town.

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So for now… enjoy whichever cups ☕️… and remember to give yourself peace and grace.

When did I stop taking photos? I used to document everything. From my first coffee all the way through the end of the day. Pictures of nature, friends, family, food, drinks… and now I rarely take a photo.

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My coffee cup yesterday morning, I specifically chose, reminding myself that I am awesome. Even though I really wasn’t feeling it.

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I also wasn’t feeling this outfit… the top half… cute… the bottom half of the outfit had me feeling heavy and gross. When I’m the heaviest weight I’ve been, it’s hard to feel cute. So, I only documented the top half. Plus, my makeup… da bomb!

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We had a long day, including the funeral home, so Scott and I went to a brewery to decompress with beer and dinner. It also happened to be trivia night, which we decided to play. Where they even mentioned manatee day… which had me singing again because Silly Songs With Larry is a thing. Hehehe.

So today (Thursday the 27th), I had real intentions of taking a photo of my cup. Did it happen? Nope. I was focused on taking pills and timing my food. The pain was/is a big deal today. Oh, well.

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I did, however, take a photo of this goofball. I never thought I’d ever have a dog in the house, and here we are… proud grand-puppy parents. I still am not a fan of all the dog hair and dog smell, but gosh, she’s cute. She’s also great company when I’m owie and don’t want to move from the couch. She lays on the floor near me and gives me these cute moments or stretches out for a nap.

Today also brought dinner and drinks with hockey folks from Scott’s beer league… did I take a photo at dinner? Nope. Because, apparently, I forget those things now. We all then headed over to Swallow Hill to support another one of the hockey peeps… Rodney Rice who opened for Matt Axton. Both bands were amazing. I did get photos of each of them. I’m super proud of that feat. Srsly, when did taking photos become so hard for me?

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So now, here I am still writing, and what was today is now yesterday because it’s past midnight. I guess the point of this, though, is that I am writing again. It doesn’t matter when it’s happening, just that it is. Also, because, at least for now, these musings are just for me… a journal of sorts.

So I guess that’s it for today… I’m hoping tomorrow brings a coffee picture. One can hope. But for now… I hope your cups were tasty ☕️

Had my morning coffee outside with Coffee this morning. We sunbathed a bit.

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Whatever sinus thing I felt yesterday seems to be gone and my energy was surprisingly okay. So, of course, I tried to do all the things. I really need to work on moderation.

And when I say I did all the things… really, all I did was clean our bedding, put away the guest bedroom bedding, play with Coffee (a few times), vacuum downstairs, shower, and make our bed. I also paid a medical bill online and did some Amazon shopping. For a normal human… not much… for me… it felt like I was accomplishing neurosurgery on the moon. Oh, how I miss being able to do those things, plus 10 others, and still work a full day.

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I rewarded myself with a Harp to go with my snack of pretzels after accomplishing the things today. It also was probably the first time I’d sat down in a few hours.  I was so afraid of sitting before getting all the things done for fear of then not taking my shower (one of the last things I did). Yet again, I need to work on the moderation.

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I found this today, and I loved the sentiment. I am magic… I AM A FOREST.

I think that’s it for tonight… peace and love with your nighttime cups. ☕️

This morning’s cup was cozy, tired vibes.

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After trying to rest but also be productive yesterday from not being home most of last week, my body decided to rebel. I woke with sinus congestion and felt just yuck most of the day. So, I spent most of the day under a blanket on the couch or wandering aimlessly around the house.

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Coffee Bean would come over periodically seeing if I was okay, and then we’d play a bit, too.

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I was also able to catch the tail end of the sunset tonight. It was gorgeous.

I hope tomorrow brings more energy and more happy cups ☕️