Today’s coffee smells amazing with the cool air as the rain trys to switch to snow.

It also brings a little bit of retrospect from yesterday’s misadventures…

As with most families our vacations and get-aways had been canceled this year. I finally have weekends free to spend with my family but this summer the teen got a job and works every weekend and some weeknights too. When we realized that Monday she wasn’t working we jumped on the chance to go to the mountains… specifically Lake Dillon.

On these excursions I typicaly have a list of what we should bring (camping table, chairs, cooler, snacks, games, hoodies etc.). I hadn’t been as organized with this trip and yesterday morning had me in a tizzy and then tears and panic. I’m still coping with my comfort in times of pandemic.

After an emotional breakdown and packing and then me repacking we headed out. First to the gas station then to get breakfast (more like brunch) from Einsteins… and then to another Einstein… because Covid had our location closed. We stood in a socially distanced line forevvvver. Finally food and more coffee in hand we headed West.

As you might know Colorado has several wildfires ablaze and yesterday that smoke was very heavy. However all of us had thought it will get better the further we get into the mountains. As we kept climbing the smoke continued to be around us. We took Loveland pass thinking we’d get above the smoke haze…nope. Not being able to even see the closest mountain is eerie. Fog is one thing, smoke haze… yeah, your brain keeps thinking it’s fog and it’ll clear.

As we drove into Dillon and even being right next to the marina we could barely make out the lake. By this point all of us were devastated and disappointed and not sure what to do. So we continued with our plan… Cheba Hut… still thinking maybe it’ll get better… and we were going to have a picnic on the lake. Opening the door of the car we realized there wasn’t a chance. Ashlynn’s lungs stung from the smoke. By this point we’re realizing we’re not staying.

To go sammiches in hand we headed towards Boreas Pass…which had been the plan to escape the I-70 mess heading home. Yet again feeling the weight of a failed family adventure and saddened by the smoke caused by the fires. So eerie.

Boreas Pass had that same gloom from the smoke and no visibility to nearby peaks. We did see a little bit of the aspens coloring changing… peak is probably 5 to 7 days away. But also realizing that this year with schedules we might not make it back.

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Anyway, we made it back home. We did find some humor in that it was a long 6+ hours just to get sammiches.

Oh well, not everyday can be awesome. We still got to spend the day together even if we all had moments of frustration. Lesson Learned.

Remember that not every moment needs to be perfect my coffee lovers.

Happy First Cups

Coffee on the deck has a sad tone today as it’s my last coffee out here for a few days. I rolled up the carpet last night and brought in Ashlynn’s plant. Cushions will get stored tonight, the umbrella will go into the garage.

Ash continues to swirl around but yet I want to cherish the moment as tomorrow brings 6 inches of snow and hopefully a little relief to the fires. Even the Meow is enjoying the fleeting moments of warmth, (Tomorrow I’m sure I’ll write about how she’ll insist to try and go out in it). Silly meow.

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Tomorrow both the teen and I will be excited for the first snow… Snow and I became friends a couple years back. I typically welcome my friend, Snow. But it’s too soon, as I know branches will buckle and break in its return.

Happy First Cups and enjoy the fleeting moments of summer

A groovy dance workout, a motivational lesson and coffee in the sun. I wish every morning I could motivate me to take care of me.

I started a fun new workout regime. I love my yoga but after being out of practice for the past few months I tried to be bendy and just laid on the mat and felt discouraged and sad. I’m 15 pounds heavier than when I left the workforce in May… and even then I was struggling with my weight. Cut out the 12 to 15,000 steps a day… yeah, hello extra 15 pounds.

I found a fun program that is dancing. I’m not a dancer and I’m definitely not coordinated but this is different in that you move as small or as big as you feel comfortable… no getting it wrong, no wrong forms just find the beat and move. Something I realized is I already move with music unintentionally so why not make those sways productive and add in footwork and arms. Ok, I may sound like I drank the kool-aid for one of those hideous and yet amazing aerobic videos from the 80’s and maybe I have but for now I’m up and moving and having fun.

So when we’re finally able to see eachother and go to concerts again… watchout… I’ll have moves. Lol, ok…no, probably not. But hey, stranger things have happened.

Enjoy your first cups my friends and find your own beat…

Sometimes mornings can be easy. It’s a very rare occurrence… but I relish them.

This morning the alarm goes off at 6:30 and I ignore it (yep, I’m one of those people) until just before 7. I head downstairs and snuggle up next to the teen (who also doesn’t wake up with alarms) and let her know what time it is. She needs to at least check-in with her first period by 7:15.

Part of my morning routine is also saying good morning to the birdies (3 parakeets) which we’ve been pet sitting for a while. And our inside joke is that their just our new pets since we’re not sure when they’ll be heading home.

I head up stairs get coffee brewing and decide to try a new recipe… because why not. 3 simple ingredients, and 15 mintues later happy breakfast cookies. Oats, banana and walnuts make for nutritious happy.

By this time the kid has checked into Chemistry, the husband has grabbed the local paper and sat down to read and the cat had settled into her spot next to the deck door… which all of us had offered several times to let her outside. The kiddo had also decided she wanted actual oatmeal so she made some of that too.

And now as I write this, the husband, cat (who only came out after I was settled outside) and I are happily on the deck and the teen is semi focusing on school inside. (OK, now the teen has decided to do schoolwork outside now too).

It’s mornings like this that I relish… when things go right and it all seems easy. This isn’t most days… this is rare. Typically at least one of us is grumpy and tired and those are the days I look back to days like this and remember I truly am blessed.

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Happy first cups

Today’s first cup I’m accompanied by the teen, cat and husband. To be fair… the cat was the first one out on the deck. I joined her after making breakfast sandwiches for the teen and husband. And then the husband and teen came out too.

I think we’re all realizing that time in the warmth of the sun is fleeting. We have a few more days of 90’s and 80’s but next week sees us in 70’s and a day in the 40’s.

Relish the warmth today my friends and as always… happy first cups.

Let’s not talk about how I’ve been absent for the last few months. Not that I haven’t enjoyed my morning coffee each day… I most definitely have… most mornings out on the newly refurbished deck… I’ve finished 5 books. I’m not going to talk about how I’ve had a hard time finding encouraging words in a different world of masks and social distancing… that this too shall pass… I miss people… I miss shopping, I miss traveling and eating out… relaxing in public, I miss my friends and concerts… oh goodness do I miss live music. I’m not going to talk about how Covid is or isn’t a big deal… I know friends who have had it… I know friends who have loved ones that have had it… Are there things I’m skeptical on… yes… but would I ever want to be the cause of someone I know getting it… no. I’m not going to talk about injustices that happen everyday to Black Americans and people of color… but I want too… I’m a white suburban stay at home mom… who will listen to me…. but isn’t that the point…There is a population who has continued to feel suppressed and unheard. So how do we change that? We listen, we respect, we educate… something I’ve never been great doing…but I’m learning to educate myself more. We start loving humanity… every color, every race, religion, sex. Why is that hard?

Enough of the things I haven’t talked about… the weather has changed… so change in mugs was in order…

Happy first day of September my friends… and happy first cups.

Today I’m enjoying the sun early. It’s going to get close to 90 today and that’s too warm to relax on the deck.

My second cup is with the sun at my back, a cool breeze (would be too cold if it wasn’t for ther sun) listening to the birds, occasional cars, crickets and the fairies (wind chimes).

The meow of course is enjoying her time out here too. She got too warm in the full sun and has opted to lay under the chairs for some shade.

I hope you are able to enjoy a little bit of the sun today.

Happy Sun Cups

Today’s 1st through 3rd cups accompanied meal planning and grocery lists.

Grocery shopping is more purposeful now than it used to be. It’s strange how now if something is a craving or a ‘oh crap I forgot to grab’ we don’t go to the store to grab the one or two things… it just goes on the list.

Cups 4 and 5 accompanied online church service with Ashlynn and her friend who spent the weekend with us.

I switched to water for our family Zoom call. I think the first time I haven’t been drinking coffee on the call. I’ve also become accustomed to catching up with extended family every week. It’s nice to hear and see everyone. Being states away it has been great feeling part of the family again.

After the call I hung out on the deck with Scott and colored, he read, and drank crystal light fruit punch, he had mead. Anyone else addicted to Crystal Light? We don’t drink soda (pop for my Minnesota peeps) much and try not to have any in the house. But we get tired of coffee (shhhhh, don’t tell) tea, and water. Crystal light is a good alternative… peach tea mostly, fruit punch and then various others.

I am loving all the live streams from artists. Of course I’m saddened that there are no concerts but I think this is the most I’ve heard “live” music. It makes me miss being at shows with friends though. Today I got to catch Roger Clyne which always makes my soul happy. Plus it went hand in hand with the queso and nachos we were making and of course tequila. Mmm, margaritas.

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I’m back to water as I’m finishing up this post. And now I’m wondering how many different drinks people have in a day. I’ve had 4… Coffee, Water, Fruit Punch and Margarita. Scott has had 5… coffee, water, mead, tequila, margarita. Ashlynn 6… coffee, sweet tea, peach tea, fruit punch, water, virgin margarita. What all have you drank today?

Happy last drinks my friends.☕

What goes best with coffee? Today the answer is Strawberry Coffee Cake.

Adjusting original recipe that was a almond raspberry and made it strawberry almond then walnuts… my almonds were not fresh… you know that sawdusty smell and taste.

Turned out very tasty to Scott and I… Ashlynn was less than impressed because she hears ‘coffee cake’ and expects to taste something different than strawberries. Pretty sure her friend liked it though.

Now that I’m out of the workforce I’m playing with different recipes and toying with the idea of a Rini bakes or Rini’s Baked Goods venture of some kind. I’m far from acting on any of this… as I’ve mentioned I’m happiest bouncing along to music and exploring recipes in my kitchen.

I hope your morning had happy cups and go grab yourself a mid day pick me up.

Happy Mid Day Coffees

This is a non coffee post

Today was the first day back at work. For those of you that don’t know. I’m a retail manager. Colorado decided it was okay to start curbside for retail today. My company, I think more for trying to get their people paid again more than the sales, which I applaud them for, decided that they’d open.

My anxiety has been fairly high the past couple weeks as more and more realizations of what life would look like after the initial stay at home order was to be lifted. I’ve always had issues with change and it’s a weakness that has guided some decisions and fears over the years. I also had my first panic attack about 5 years ago due to being in a crowd. I’ve learned deep breathing techniques and I mentally prepare myself on my way to something that there will be crowds. It works 98% of the time. It’s also left me open for other kinds of panic attacks too. I’ve broken down a few times in the past few weeks and definitely over the weekend as I tried to prepare myself.

That brings me to today… I cried waking up and again as I put on my shoes to head to the car. I was tense driving to work… definitely not an ideal situation as a driver… however my mom and I prayed over the phone on my drive and I was okayish. Got to work and broke down in hysterics in the car as I saw another employee walk in because I had mentally prepared for just 2 people in the store not 3. I put on my mask and went in. I calmed down over an hour in. My hunched shoulders and internal emotions never went away. I silently panicked… couldn’t breathe and was beyond hot from claustrophobia a few times in my day. There was one conversation with my boss that it felt like ‘the old days’ but that was fleeting as he was fidgeting with his own mask.

We sanitize the store 4 times in the 8 hours we’re open one of many new procedures. All of which are neccessary for less contamination and for staff piece of mind.

We had a few curbside guests today. All of whom were polite.

Upon getting home I did immediately put my clothes and mask in the washer. I then hoped in the shower where I bawled and let the water just take away the sense of not being clean. I’m emotionally and physically drained and after being home for over 3 hours I still feel the mask on my face…more so even.

I’m writing this not for you to feel sorry for me but realize that there might be people in your life who also are struggling with what this new reality, new days look like. Or maybe you are trying to figure out what it looks like as you prepare to go back to work yourself. This is our new normal for awhile. We won’t see or be exposed to the virus as much as the other industries that have been open throughout the span of the virus, but we still have that anxiety and fear of the public and who might be sick and discomfort of donning a new attire as we start back into work.

I’ve been wearing a mask for any errands but the wearing for hours on end like today caused more panic and ache than I was prepared for. My employer is requiring masks constantly and gloves too. I took off my engagement ring this morning before I left knowing that it would poke through the gloves… something I learned the week before the store shutdown… also another cause for sadness.

We are all going to have different levels of okay. For some, masks might not bother them, others it might cause panic. Each one of us is going to find where our comfort level is. For some it might mean a career switch, for others it might be continuing to remote work even after their office opens back up.

I’m not sure how I’m going to find the strength for tomorrow or the day after that and maybe I won’t and that’s okay too… and maybe what I’m learning is it’s okay not to be ready.

Ok, that’s it for today… more a diary post than anything else.

Love to all of you