Today, I am groggy and sore. I’m on my 2nd cup at the start of writing this. I became one with the mattress last night.

For those of you that don’t know… that is a rare statement for me. I don’t sleep well. In fact, I haven’t hit REM sleep in a few months as I get up several times a night. Either I’m uncomfortable and tossing and turning, I’m unbearably hot (even with a fan), or I’m up using the bathroom (sometimes 7 times in that many hours).

How I know I don’t hit the sweet spot in sleep… I hear everything around me. The creaks of the house, the furnace fan kicking on and off (one night, I counted this), both fridges running, the windchimes on the deck, the cars on the street, you get the idea. It’s the weird sleep that you are asleep but yet not out to the world. That’s been my life. Only recently did I have the realization that at least it is still rest (eyes closed kind of rest). Last year before and after my MS diagnosis, some of the non-sleep was associated with stress & anxiety, where my brain wouldn’t shut off (thank you to Hallmark Channel for starting Christmas movies so early, as it was something I could turn on and zone out to). Or the fact that my body hurt (nerves firing). Now, it’s just not finding the comfy, sweet spot.

On a side note: I will go into more of my MS diagnosis in further posts… I’m finding it easier and easier to talk about, but I haven’t been posting anything online. I had not wanted every conversation/interaction to be about MS. Although, because it’s still so fresh, I do talk about it a lot. The diagnosis is one of a few reasons why last year was my hardest year.

This week I saw my neurologist for a follow-up and we talked about my non-sleep. She had prescribed some pain pills in October that have a side effect of drowsiness that might help with the nerves firing and sleep issues. I was hesitant to try them as I wasn’t in pain (thankfully!). Especially after reading more into the meds and understanding that eventually I would be on the pills later in life, so I never took them as I was afraid to, and to build up that an immunity so early in my diagnosis. However, after talking with the doctor on Tuesday, we decided I should try it and see if it helps… 3 days in, and it worked. I’m slightly nervous about taking something every night, or like I said above, building an immunity to something that I will need later in life.

I’m thankful for the good night’s sleep. I’ll try it again tonight as last night’s late night of hockey (getting home just before midnight) and taking the pill shortly after still had me not quite asleep at 2. But I slept from 2 to 8:30, getting up once for the bathroom. I’m still feeling super sleepy and slightly off-kilter… one of the other side-effects is dizziness (which is unnerving, especially in the middle of the night for the bathroom break). So, we’ll see how it works and go from there. I know there is many of options out there to help in the sleep department but in my transition from one neurologist to another a few months from now, it’s nice to know I have a reprieve from the sleeplessness.

I didn’t mean for this to be more of a journal entry, oh well. So, I’ll throw in some fun from last night. It was the first games of the spring season last night. Nordiques, Seals, and North Stars all won, (kinda cool that Scott’s 2 former teams won their games, too). There was fun in the stands with Ben & Sam and our new mascot, Flerp the Derp (the most awesomest of Yetis), and Ashlynn, Tony and Faith were there for a bit too. We had snacks from my magical bag, found out about Flerps secret pouch and most excitedly… Scott got a goal!

Now that it’s just past noon, I’ve done a little bit of work, some online shopping (mostly tracking current purchases) and I’ve been staring at the empty second cup for quite some time. I should probably get showered, head to the grocery store for the 2 things needed before the 2 inches to 4 feet of snow arrives and get going for the rest of the day.

Thanks for your love and patience in reading todays journal entry and most of all… I hope you enjoy your cups today!

Listening to lofi chill beats this morning with the first cup.

It has been over a year since I posted my daily cup. I’ve tried the past few weeks to start back up again, but how do I write about my hardest year. I’ve been procrastinating or rewriting the few paragraphs already written and then getting overwhelmed and stopping.  What I’ve realized is that I need to just post my morning cup. The rest will come in time.

So today: Chill vibes morning before a bit of work, walkies in the neighborhood, or around the lake. Tonight, heading to the rink to watch the hubby play late night hockey.

Last year, Scott played all 3 seasons in the Over 40 Beer League at our local rink. The first season, he was on the Seals (and they won the championship). In the second and third season, he was on The North Stars (they won the 3rd season championship). But since knowing the team names, I’ve been hoping for him to get drafted onto the Nordiques (I may be super excited to wear my Nordiques shirt that I’ve had for years). Don’t get me wrong, I did wear teal for the Seals games and green for the North Stars games, I’m just excited to wear my Nordiques shirt for a purpose.

Have a happy Thursday… and remember, enjoy your first (or whichever) cups.

Today is the first day of Autumn.

I would be remiss to not mention the Husband says “it’s the first-ish day, since the equinox is not until 7:03 pm.” Either way, this my season.

I don’t go for all the pumpkin this and pumpkin that. But instead the multitude of colors. Reds, oranges, yellows, browns and greens in all sorts of hues. The colors of nature transferring into our wardrobes too. The crisp, cool air in the mornings that make you want to snuggle up just a bit longer with your love. The earthy smell left by misty dew, the crunch of leaves… all of it!

The husband and I talked this morning in our snuggles as we tried to ignore the incessant meows of our old meow who wakes us up every couple hours. We talked about how Fall could be considered just the prequel to Winter or the post to Summer. But, so could any season… a prequel or post, I guess it depends on what season you’re excited for or what season you dread.

Me, I am excited for changing leaves and long drives and walks as we explore the mountains in this beautiful season. We have a tradition of driving up into the mountains (as does most of our fellow Coloradans). We plan for atleast a whole day of exploring our favorite mountain passes, taking pictures and talking as we enjoy the beauty of nature preparing for Winter. This Saturday will be our first of those explorations. I can’t wait!

Today, will be filled with folksy music as I work for a bit and then I’ll start taking out some Autumn decor. I might even make some cider for this afternoon. The cozy fall blankets made their appearance Sunday… I love the switching of seasons even in the small things. Enjoy the beauty in the change of the season my friends.

With that, enjoy your cups today. ☕

My second and third cups were spent with colored pencils. I’m a crazy slow colorer as I outline and shade. Coloring with happy soft indie/folk music in the background had me peaceful this morning.

Happy mid-day cups my friends☕

Fire, blanket, cat and a cup of comfy is today’s first cup

Happy first cups my friends☕

There’s been no coffee posts, partly because I’m lazy and partly because I don’t have anything to say.

I started this venture a few years ago because I love sharing my cup. Not because I have amazing things to say.

Today’s 4th cup…

Stay safe and warm and happy sipping☕

With the first glimmers of the morning day …

My coffee and I did a little dance in the first snow of the year.

Snow… my friend. I missed your beauty. The beautiful white blanket that allows the earth to sleep… even just for a moment. I had to feel the cold on my feet, listen to the crunch of it giving beneath my weight. Closing my eyes, twirling and relishing the feeling. Nourishing my soul and my senses… breathing slow, smelling the crisp wet air. Oh how I’ve missed this feeling.

I know Snow, you’ll be gone with the sun but I am so excited for your return. Please visit us again soon.

I am so thankful for the first snowfall and the beauty it brings.

Happy Thanksgiving my coffee lovers and as always…Happy First Cups ☕

Sunny Autumn morning with the cool wind signaling the change in the season and a shift in the weather.

I’ve been focused too much on the struggles of life and parenting the last few weeks to find the peace and beauty around me.

Today is a new day and Autumn is calling. Bright, colorful leaves dance in the wind as they loosen their grip from the branches. Except our big backyard tree, stubborn and steadfast in it’s hold of green. I see myself sometimes in the tree… steadfast and eventually too tired to hold my leaves and then letting them fall.

For now Autumn brings beauty and starts my season of candles, warm drinks, sweaters, hoodies and fun hues of colors. The reds, oranges, yellows and browns are seen everywhere in wardrobe, food decorations and nature.

Today we’re going to enjoy some of the fun of Autumn and head to a fall festival, tonight… spiked hot cider.

Then next week… there’s a possibility of first snow… when mother nature comforts and covers all in a nice blanket of white.

Happy hot cups today my friends ?? ☕??

How do you define coffee?

Saying it’s ‘a hot drink made from the roasted and ground seeds (coffee beans) of a tropical shrub.’ doesn’t seem to capture it.

Me, I embrace the feeling… I define coffee as the experience in partaking.

I’ve written a lot about the taste and smell of coffee and how sometimes it’s the people you share it with or the time it gives you to find your center.

Recently, it’s been about the comfort. It’s been rough around here, emotions are high and we’re all on hairpin triggers with at least one of us in tears at different points in the day. So when I say coffee it has become to mean comfort. It’s a steady presence of warmth to hold and of constant reassuring. I can close my eyes with cup in hand and breathe and find some balance even just for a second.

I have gotten accustomed to pouring coffee in the morning and just holding it, staring off into space. Partly because my morning routine of mom/alarm/nurse/motivator happens several times in the course of an hour and then repeats for the next 3 to 4 hours. So, when I’m not those things I stare blankly at my coffee not seeing it or really anything else. I forget to drink the warm bean juice wanting the warmth in my hands more than in my body.

Ashlynn and I did visit one of my favorite local places today after getting some lab work done at the doctor. When we both love coffee and it’s National Coffee Day I suggest stopping and getting a cup to give us both smiles. I held (and drank) most of a lavender latte. It smelled amazing. Ashlynn described the smell and taste ‘like a crisp Fall day where you’re curled in a chair under a nice fleece blanket on the deck watching the leaves fall around you’.

Today as most days in the recent past I did not finish a cup of coffee… not that my love of it has diminished it has just taken a new meaning, a new form for a bit, as comforter and friend.

I hope National Coffee Day brought you many a happy cups ☕